The Lori Harvey Shade Is Steeped in Sexism, Patriarchy and a Basic Lack of Sense

I braced for it on Sunday.

That’s when internet super-sleuths realized that model/socialite Lori Harvey and actor Damson Idris were no longer following each other on Instagram, and had deleted photos of each other from their respective accounts some 10 months after going public with their relationship. The zeitgeist has shown us that the “IG scrub” is a portent for trouble in paradise.

Sure enough, the couple made the joint announcement of their breakup Tuesday via The Hollywood Reporter: “We are at a point in our lives where our individual paths require our full attention and dedication. We part ways remaining friends with nothing but love and respect for each other and the time we shared together.”

(Not sure what it says about our society that a non-married couple needs to release a joint statement announcing their breakup, but that’s for another column.)

By Wednesday morning, Harvey was trending on the erstwhile Twitter. “Contract expired” jokes and clips from Idris’ show “Snowfall” are doing the rounds.

Unsurprisingly, there’s a fusillade of negativity directed toward Harvey (and not Idris) for her “trend” of dating famous men for a relatively short period. She’s borne the brunt of sexist headlines and tweets over the last few years, including those focused on the gag reflex-inducing rumors that she messed with both Diddy and his son Justin Combs.

Idris was Harvey’s first boyfriend following her breakup with Michael B. Jordan in June 2022. She’d been previously linked with paragons of our culture—specifically Future and Trey Songz—but that relationship with Jordan put Harvey on the map because we saw one of Hollywood’s most desirable men (even your grandmama thinks the Creed 3 star is a cutie) admit publicly that he was heartbroken by a woman 10 years his junior.

The comments section of every Instagram news and gossip account reporting her breakup with Idris is a dumpster fire of minimum-wage Carvana employees complaining about how women like Harvey are the “problem.” It’s not just coming from the dust-ridden dudes—women alike are piling on the hate as well.

It’s all ridiculous for manifold reasons—not the least of which is the fact that Harvey is in her mid-20s—arguably a terrible age for anyone to “settle down.”

That being said, I’m a 40-something divorcée and I don’t think that anyone born the year I obtained my driver’s license should be pressured into marriage. If she decides to get married in her own good time, great for her. But c’mon—she’s like a year removed from having to pay the “young driver” car rental rates.

Hell, Idris is only 32 and still relatively new to Hollywood successes. He’s also arguably too young to hang it all up, and his dating life will likely experience a profound boost from the cachet of dating Harvey—but he’ll be treated like the wounded puppy in this breakup.

Also, folks look at Harvey’s relationship history and assume that the breakup was all her fault. It’s as if we wish to collectively and conveniently forget that, y’know, dudes cheat sometimes. They’re also liable to act funny-style when they land preternaturally attractive, “high-value” women and subconsciously sabotage the relationship. Insecurity is a hell of a depressant.

There’s simply too much pointless conjecture when it comes to what celebrities are doing behind closed doors. Folks with otherwise “ordinary” lives love nothing more than to CSI their way through the nuances of celebrities’ private lives from the privacy of their cubicles. (Y’all had that bad a few weeks ago when Jada Pinkett Smith was on her memoir tour.)

Folks need to take time to look inward and determine why they harbor such animus toward a 20-something woman they’ve never met and with whom they’ll never be friends or partners. Because, from what I can surmise, Harvey has done nothing outside of being a woman with agency—and we know how much of a problem that is for a lot of you.

That said, I do think the joke of Harvey collecting dudes like Thanos’ Infinity Stones is pretty funny…