Bambi Benson tells her side of the story on the Small Doses with Amanda Seales podcast. The mother of three and beauty entrepreneur opens up about her divorce from rapper Lil Scrappy and embracing her “soft girl era.”
Fans of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta have followed the ups and downs of Bambi and Scrappy’s relationship since season three. At this point, Benson is accustomed to receiving backlash from viewers throughout the reality series. So she sat down with Small Doses host Amanda Seales to clear the air and tell it her way.
[RELATED: Social Media Slams ‘Love & Hip Hop’s’ Bambi For Not Buying Her Daughter A Black Doll]
Relationship Problems
While the final straw that doomed their relationship was Scrappy’s infidelity, Benson says that wasn’t the only problem in their relationship that led her to call it quits. “The final straw was him cheating and the person that it was with, it was an ex,” she explains. “But we did have some issues going on already.”
Over time, Benson and Scrappy fell out of sync as their family grew. “Our relationship was based on me coddling him in the beginning,” she says. “I didn’t have any problem with none of that stuff, I never did. But when I started having kids, I have to take care of the kids and I have to take care of me, and also have to work.”
“I took a lot of accountability for that,” she adds. “Because I did a lot, and nobody asked me to. I did that. I just didn’t have the capacity to do it any longer to that extent.”
As Benson changed and evolved, so did the marriage. “I found out that I was codependent. So when you start setting these boundaries, they don’t like it anymore,” she says.
“That could be damaging to your relationship, working on yourself. Because then you outgrow your partner,” she says. “They be triggering you based on the fact that you are working on yourself.”
Healing Through Divorce
Bambi details her experience with the divorce from day one. Determined to stay focused on the process, she started fasting—as well as staying away from alcohol and social media—on the day she filed for divorce last November. By June, the divorce was finalized.
While the couple did not have a prenuptial agreement on file, dividing their assets was a relatively smooth process, Benson says. But the emotional highs and lows were still there. Even so, the reality star allowed herself to embrace the feels rather than bottling them up.
“I feel good. I know people are like, ‘You need to go heal.’ I’m like, ‘Oh no, I dealt with my sh*t.’ I was dealing with it when it was happening,” she says. “I was crying, I was writing, I was working out. Whatever I was feeling, I was feeling it. I let myself feel it.”
Calm And In Control
Now that the dust has settled and the divorce paperwork filed away, Benson is adjusting to what she calls her new “parallel parenting” routine. “For me, parallel parenting is just everything that we communicate about, it is very matter of fact. It’s about the kids and that’s it. It’s nothing outside of that,” she explains.
Despite their break-up, Benson isn’t here to bash her ex. “I want him to be the best version of himself for our kids,” she says. “I want my kids to be able to look at their dad like, you know, he’s their hero.”
While the whole process of separating was difficult—they all had to move out of the family house and start fresh—Bambi is in a better place.
“That calm nervous system? That’s priceless. So I have gained that,” she says. “Even before the marriage and the divorce, I was always so uptight. Right now I feel so calm, I feel so relaxed, I feel in control of everything that is happening in my life … I just feel really empowered.”
Don’t miss out on the details. Listen to the full episode of Small Doses: Side Effects of Divorce (with Bambi) here. Also available to listen on Apple and Spotify.
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